What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Worst Jokes Ever
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
Ukraine.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
