Worst Jokes Ever
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.
That's caketasic!
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's cellmate.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
One day, Little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad, "We're gonna go to my room and do some homework." His dad said okay. Five minutes later, Little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room, so he went to go see what it was, and all he heard was, "Baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, oh." Little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said, "Little Johnny, what are you doing in there?" Then Little Johnny said, "Dad, we're just having sex." Then Little Johnny's dad said, "Oh, I thought you were listening to some Justin Bieber up in here."