In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
Worst Jokes Ever
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they like to feel wanted!
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
What do you call an orphan village?
An orphanage.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
No one.
Why are priests called father?
I don’t know why.
Because calling them daddy is too suspicious.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.
Hey, you know Slugma?
Slugma balls.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
