Worst Jokes Ever
Let's beat that "lEtS gET 69 LikEs anD CoMmEntS" with 21 dislikes on this post. #21gang
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
What would a gay man do for free that a heterosexual woman that is a whore won't do for $50.00 for a heterosexual man?
Suck his balls.
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.