Worst Jokes Ever

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.

Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!

I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

I don't trust trees...they look shady.

Dmitri! Where's my vodka?

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

It is not funny about kidnapping.

I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.

Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?

They can both squirt out their cum.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high, and so are you.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.

Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.

I'm a cheetah, I cheat, duh?

The people in the World Trade Center ordered two pepperoni, but got two planes.

Fuck Jewkraine!