Worst Jokes Ever
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
Yo mama so stupid, she used a fork to save the milk from the cereal.
The priest is gay.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars but they got jets.
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
Dammit, I hanged off their nose off.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.