Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
Worst Jokes Ever
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
Dick butt.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Why do gays get bad grades?
They don't get straight A's.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
The joke is you! 😂🤣😂🤣😂
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
