Worst Jokes Ever
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent signature________________
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
"I had raped the game young, you can call it statutory." - Kanye West in 2009 (Forever with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne)
What's a flat-chested emo called?
A cutting board.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He couldn’t get to home base.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
Like if you have balls.