When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Worst Jokes Ever
Like if you meet someone emo.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
Call me Willma, Will ma balls fit in ya mouth?
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
Dog.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Someone fucked a member of BTS.
