Worst Jokes Ever
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they couldn't run home.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.