Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Man, I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Orphan, they're enough of a joke.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's parents?
The clock actually comes back around.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”