Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
Worst Jokes Ever
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
"Autism be like..."
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
They ordered pepperoni and got ✈️.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
Oil is soooooooo soooooooo cute 😍 ☺ 💓 💕 💖 ✨ 😍
I can't help it. Images look crazy but oil is soooooo cute!
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
