Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.
Because I am an orphan.
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
What's an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call a doctor that's a skeleton?
Doctor Bones.
What did Steven Harkens have to eat?
His shoulders.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?