Worst Jokes Ever
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
What can orphans not do in school?
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Bob the builder.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.
It couldn't answer.