Worst Jokes Ever

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

What did Tennessee?

Same thing that Arkansas did.

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

Why was the apple 🍎 sad?

Because he got his peelings hurt.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

Presidents are normal, physically.

Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.

What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

When is the best time to go to the dentist?

2:30.

Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.

What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?

CrossFit.

If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?

Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?

Parent's signature: ___________