(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to see his parents.
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
Why are orphans so successful?
When they were told to go big or go home, they only had one option.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
