If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Worst Jokes Ever
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
