Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
What's an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call a doctor that's a skeleton?
Doctor Bones.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Clap em sis!
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
What is an orphan's favorite No Way Home?
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.