Worst Jokes Ever
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Devora Malka, the Nora School, Silver Springs, Maryland, also known as Opal.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.