New 9 Jokes - Page 34 - Worst Jokes Ever

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

Joke: "7 8 9" (seven eight nine), why is 8 (eight) scared of 7 (seven)?

Answer: This is because; in "7 8 9", 8 is pronounced as (ate). So because seven ate nine, eight is scared that seven would eat eight also.

I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.

"White people can't jump"...

"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."

My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.

I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"9/11"

"9/11 Who?"

"I thought you'd never forget..."

When is Father's Day?

Nine months before Mother's Day.

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”

The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Me: Wanna play 9/11?

Friend: What's that?

Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

How many guns can an octopus hold?

Why was 10 scared of 9?

Because 9 8 7.

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)