Do you know what my favorite time of day is? 6:30 HANDS DOWN.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life
“Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!” “What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!” “They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!”
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets? cuz thats how many kids are in a class
OMG TYSM FOR HELPING ME REACH 30 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎆
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside. Thankfully I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds
Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $30." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist? A: 2:30
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of time.
Bf: Well it's either yes or no.
Gf: ...
Bf: Well when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
x : morning sunshine y : oh, yeah 30 minutes more
911 pilots are the best readers, They went through 30 stories in less than an hours
Not a joke , but hears a good workout ig , situps 50 , push ups 40 , squats 30 doe 5 sets.
