30 jokes
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Sy’kyira (😌): I can’t wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy’kyira (😅): SAME!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.