13 jokes
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Your (DYM 13).
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.
1. 😀 What's this emoji meaning? 2. 😃 What's this emoji meaning? 3. 😚 What's this emoji meaning? 4. 😁 What's this emoji meaning? 5. 😍 What's this emoji meaning? 6. 😋 What's this emoji meaning? 7. 🧐 What's this emoji meaning? 8. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 9. 😳 What's this emoji meaning? 10. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 11. 😰😨 What's this emoji meaning? 12. 😏 What's this emoji meaning? 13. 😬 What's this emoji meaning? 14. 🤐😣 What's this emoji meaning? 15. 😦🥺 What's this emoji meaning?
The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!
Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?
A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.