13 jokes

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

The number 13? Not on my watch!

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.

Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.

What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?

Time to get a new watch.

Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.

What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?

Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.

Who are the fastest readers of all time?

People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧