13 jokes
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.
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The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!
My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?
A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!