Superstition jokes
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
How do you confuse a ginger? Throw a cross at them.
Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
Hi, please like for good luck!
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!