13 jokes

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?

Sally in 13 trash cans.

Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.

1. 😀 What's this emoji meaning? 2. 😃 What's this emoji meaning? 3. 😚 What's this emoji meaning? 4. 😁 What's this emoji meaning? 5. 😍 What's this emoji meaning? 6. 😋 What's this emoji meaning? 7. 🧐 What's this emoji meaning? 8. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 9. 😳 What's this emoji meaning? 10. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 11. 😰😨 What's this emoji meaning? 12. 😏 What's this emoji meaning? 13. 😬 What's this emoji meaning? 14. 🤐😣 What's this emoji meaning? 15. 😦🥺 What's this emoji meaning?

The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

A man walks into a bar.

He had to have 13 stitches!

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.

After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?

(Ten, if you count in base 13!)

What's the difference between acne and the Pope?

Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.

A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.

Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Why can't orphans go to movies?

There PG-13 movies.

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.

Why do I call my priest daddy?

Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.

My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.