11 jokes
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
People have been killed.
People have been killed who?
The 9/11 victims.