Yours jokes

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

What did the pen say to the pencil?

The pen said, "You're pointy."

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.

Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Your mum's foreheads.

I like...

Wendy's.

"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."