Yours jokes

Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"

Want to save 50% on your Chinese?

Just ask before you pay.

Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.

Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"

Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."

Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."

*Operator hears a distant gunshot*

Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"

If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

Your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room.

When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.

What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?

Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏

Is your tap water running well?

Beta, go catch it!

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.

You signed up for football, but you're no good.

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.