Yours jokes

You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

Two plus two is four. Minus one, that's three, quick maths. Every day, man's on the block. Smoke trees (Ah). See your girl in the park. That girl is a uckers. When the ting went quack-quack-quack You man were ducking (You man ducked). Hold tight, Asznee (My brudda). He's got the pumpy (Big ting). Hold tight, my man (My guy). He's got the frisbee (Few). I trap, trap, trap on the phone Movin' that cornflakes (Uh). Rice Krispies. Hold tight, my girl Whitney (My G). On, on, on, on, on the road doin' 10 toes Like my toes (Like my toes). You man thought I froze. I see a peng girl, then I pose (Chilin'). If she ain't on it, I ghost. Hah, look at your nose (Check your nose, fam). You donut. Nose long like garden hose.

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"

When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

You're so fat, that you're fat.

I want a bigger couch.

Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced.

Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”

Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.