Yours jokes

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

I really hit the mother lode with you!

Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.

Banker: I have the right to take your money!

Me: Check my name.

Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?

Banker: *realizes*

Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

Your hairline is so bald, Mr. Clean even said it's bald!

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.

Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.