Yours jokes

Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"

The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.

It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Doctor: Hands husband his baby.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.

Husband: Then give me the one she made.

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.

You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.