Yours jokes

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.

Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!

Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!

Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."

Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.

His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."

I fucked your mom.

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.

Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.

Have you heard of China...

China fit this dick in your mouth.

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Alex.

Alex who?

Lalicks your balls.

You're gay, stop reading.

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

Your mum gay.

"You did great!"

"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"

"Nah, that's okay."

"Here's the quarterback."

"You don't want the quarter?"

"No! Quarterback!"

"Huh?"

(Crashes) (screams)

"Yo, sorry 'bout that."

"You think he's gonna be mad?"

"Who? Baldi?"

"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"

(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)

I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."