Yours jokes
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
Your hairline starts at the back of your head.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Where's your mom?
In the bin.