Yours jokes
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Your teeth are so out of line, even James Charles is straighter than them.
Like if you like porn.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."