Yours jokes

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:

"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

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  • Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."

    "We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.

    "Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."

    The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"

    The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"