You're jokes

Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...

Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, you're a poo.

Do you know your E?

You're E tarded.

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?

Your mum.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

Brother: Your nuts!

Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!

Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.