You're jokes
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
Bill really said "your body, my choice," like, my man, it's your body, MY choice.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!