You're jokes
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Where's your off button?
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.
Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.