You're jokes
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
"What is your number?" "Hi."
It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.
What did one arm say to the other? "What is your address?"
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...
Your face!
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.