You're jokes
Can I put my balls in your jaws?
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."