You're jokes
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.