You're jokes
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.
Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.
I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!