Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Your Mum Jokes
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Your mum isn't home.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
What is Stephen Hawking's mum?
Your mum!
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Your mum lol teehee!
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
Your mum gay, lol.
