Your Mum jokes
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Your mum isn't home.
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
What is Stephen Hawking's mum?
Your mum!
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
Your mum's got big tits.
You're mum.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
What's your mum's favourite food?
Chicken nuggets! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Your mum lol teehee!