You jokes

And together we will make America great again.

You were never great in the first place.

When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."

How do you make a trash can leak?

Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.

What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?

A firecracker.

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels.

What do you call the middle of a penny?

A center (get it? Cent-er).

You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.

You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.

9/11 hahahahaha. Lawrence, I hope you read this!

How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?

Kill her afterwards.

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

You can't send an Indian to walk a corner. The only corner they will get to is 7-11.

What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?

Paul Walker's death.

Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?

Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"

Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"

You can’t land on Uranus XD

How do you get away with murder?