You jokes

Spider

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

WiFi

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Child

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

Memes

Bartender

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

Rape

How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.

Cop

Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!

Alien

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"

Can

What do you call an opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

Difference

What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?

Orphan

I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"