What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
You Jokes
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
What do you call someone without a body?
Nobody.
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
"What did the zero say to the eight?"
"That belt looks good on you!"
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!