You jokes
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."
He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
What did the pen say to the pencil? You have a point.
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?