What's the difference between you and your mom?
I slept with your mom.
You Jokes
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
What do you call a sad rapper?
A SOB-HOP ARTIST.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Illusion.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES nature?
MC Green
What do you call a rapper who can’t rap?
A wrapper with no FILLING.
What do you call a dinosaur that raps?
A VELOCI-RAPPER!
What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?
Dr. Dre-seed.
How do you get black kids to stop jumping off the bed?
You put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get the black kids down?
You invite the Mexicans over.
What do you call a rapper who's also a doctor?
Dr. Dre.
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
Unemployed.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:
Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"
I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.
I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."
Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,
"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."
And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.