You jokes

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?

Downy unstopables.

How bout you Rhydon deez nuts?

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

What do you call a fat motivational speaker?

Four chin teller.

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.

Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.

Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?

What do you call a pregnant slave?

Buy 1 get 1 free.

Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.