You jokes
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!