You jokes
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
What do you call a fat Mexican rat?
Rasmus.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.
When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
You have gaps in your teeth, looks like your tongue is in jail.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
What do rednecks and deaf people have in common?
Don’t care wtf you say or listen to shit you say😂
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! Lol.
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on Juan.
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"