You jokes
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Um, please do not swear, there is no need. Could you maybe just find clean jokes?
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈