You jokes

Clone

  • You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

  • 3
  • Depression

  • Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

    Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

    Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

  • 0
  • Hug

  • Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?

    Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!

    Neona (😁): Agreed!

  • 1
  • Fool

  • Neona: Gwen?

    Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?

    Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!

    Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!

    Neona: Are you mad at me?

    Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.

  • 4
  • Depression

  • My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

    Swallow

  • A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

    "Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

  • 0
  • Man

  • Being a man that is poor really isn't that bad as long as you are involved in the world's oldest profession and you are well-endowed and you are not homophobic and as long as you can suck the chrome off a tailpipe then you have nothing to worry about if you are desperate enough to pay your bills.

    Lack of money is the root of all evil. 😊

  • 0
  • Dick

  • When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

  • 0